imageWhat if I said “stop praying”? What if I told you to stop talking AT God for a while, but instead to take a long, hard look at him before you speak another word?Solomon warned us not to rush into God’s presence with words. That’s what fools do. And often, that’s what we do.

Alright, so I’ve been moved to listen to and ultimately buy the book and study guide for Francis Chan’s book titled “Crazy Love” which I will be basing my blogs around since this book and the bible have pretty much taken over my life recently lol. The first chapter talks about truly praying…now I’m not talking about saying the same prayer everyday before a mean or the same prayer every morning when you wake up,, I’m talking about truly getting into the presence of God. I could see this in a way intimidate people because of eh fact that you have to really calm yourself, your mind, heart, and body and just bask in the presence of God and the words will flow. I’m naturally a very inpatient person so I struggle with this immensely.. I make excuses a lot saying I don’t have time so I’ll just say some really quick prayer and that will be sufficient… Wrong… Prayer with words but no heart is pointless… I can’t exactly remember who wrote one of my favorite quotes of all time but it goes like this “in prayer, it’s better to have a heart without words than words without a heart”. Makes sense right? But are we so scared as a church to break the mold and the “routine” we are in when it involves prayer that we can’t grasp the fact that God would rather us just sit and be silent than flapping our jaws about random, heartless, worldly focused stuff? But it’s true. Our god, the same who who created galaxies and all life, is the same one who created you by hand and took time and planned out your life. And yet all he asks in return is to love and glorify him, basically to be real and genuine to him. And that’s huge with prayer. How easy it to talk to your friends and have a conversation ? Yet so hard to talk to god? Take a moment and look back in your life. Have you ever REALLY prayed? You don’t have to answer to anyone so be honest with yourself. Have you ever really taken the time to sit still in the presence of God and listen, just talk, and glorify him? I can’t remember the last time I did, because I get so wrapped up in myself and my routine I c tech myself not making time for what really matters. R.C. Sproul writes this “Men are never duly touched and impressed with a conviction of their insignificance, nail they have contrasted themselves with the majesty of God”. A lot of people may think that their simple, routine, lifeless prayers are sufficient and god can tolerate it. I sometimes struggle with how to properly respond to Gods magnitude in a world bent on ignoring or merely tolerating him. But I do know this: God will not be tolerated. He instructs us to worship and fear him. So I’ll end with this. I challenge you to step back, try praying without words. Just sit and concentrate and try to get into the presence of God. If something comes to mind then start talking to God about it, no need for big or fancy words, justs be you and be real. Have a blessed day everyone 🙂


This road hasn’t been easy. When you grow up from a child, to an adult ,living your life to make everyone around you happy, trying to find acceptance from people who otherwise don’t matter,where do you find your happiness? Sure, we are called to be servants. But why do we get more caught up in trying to impress our friends and family and gain acceptance from worldly things and accomplishments, when we couldn’t even fathom what would happen if we spent as much time on doing Gods work and glorifying him as we do getting ready to go out on a weekend. Now I would be the first one to admit, I am guilty of being ashamed at times. Ashamed people are going to title me a “Jesus freak” or a “bible thumper” just because of what I’m doing or decisions I’m making. But where do you draw the line on being ashamed? Is it when something bad has to happen in your life for you to call out on God knowing that you have nothing left.. Is it when you realize the promises of the world aren’t as good as the promises of God? That’s what happened to me.. A few weeks ago I went through some stuff, not making the best decisions and reaching a point mentally where I just had to ask myself “what are you doing with your life”, “is this really all you have to show for your life at 23yrs old?” . You know something needs to change when you can’t even answer those questions to yourself. So I finally just threw my hands up and said to god “I can’t do it, it’s no working and I’m not going anywhere” one thing a lot of people don’t understand is we have a very, very selfish God “in a good way”. So when you tell him you need help, or you want him, you better believe he’s giving you all of him.. There is no point when God is going to give you a little here and a little there. If he is expecting you to give him all of your body, mind, and soul then you better be ready for all of him. This isn’t to scare people away, he won’t give you more than you can handle, but he will challenge you. What’s growth without challenge? I recently just enrolled into a very grueling 6 month course offered by the Clearwater School Of Discipleship and I am soooo stoked about it that it’s unreal. Challenging myself with different opportunities to grow and learn both spiritually and mentally, while gaining confidence in my walk with God and utilizing tools that God has blessed me with to reach out to others, and even more importantly, discovering new blessings God has mapped out for my life. I’m not going to lie or act like I’m not scared. I’m terrified.. When your whole life is going to be shaken and stirred up wouldn’t you be scared to? Leaving everything of your past that doesn’t glorify god in the background and lighting up the new way with bigger, brighter, longer lasting lights than what the world has made you use to navigate through life. I know today was just a little rambling but I challenge you to look at your life and analyze different things that may be holding you back to being free. Have a blessed, safe weekend

You have 23 years. Meaning 8,401 days, or 201,624 hours. If you could plan every single day or every single hour out how how would you do it? looking back at the first 23 years of my life, there is definitely a lot I would change or simply do different… But when you think of where your at in life and all the lessons life has taught you, would you really change anything? Sure, less heartbreak, more happiness, less stress, and of course the biggest one….more time with God. But looking back on everything I have been through from bad grades in school ,sports injuries, breakups, to jail, drug problems, boarding schools, and a home for trouble teens…I don’t know where I would be if I ever took any of that back. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and the fact that god allowed every single one of those things to happen in my life shows a lot. If I were to change the past at all, who am I to tell God his plan isn’t good enough. That I don’t think that what he allowed to happen was best for me.. Wanna hear God laugh? Tell him you know what your doing. Now I won’t lie, there are a ton of things that I may wish that I could change, but is it really that I wish I could change them? Or simply that I may still not know the reasoning or simple understanding as why God put me through certain situation. People always want to change things they don’t understand , wether it be biblical context to suit them and change it around to fit their situation, or some instructions that someone has laid out…. But why do we as a society have such a hard time trusting a teacher, or a mentor, or simply God? Because the hard fact of the matter is that we are so stubborn as a society we want what’s best for us, I am a believer that the biggest lie as a human we ever believe is that we know exactly what were doing and what’s best… Well, we’re wrong… We have no idea. Kind of makes you wonder what happened with society from Jesus time to now..where they trusted a man that multitudes of people hated and looked down upon. He led them where they had no idea what to expect.. Why can’t we be like that as a church again? As individuals. Where we can trust god so much that we simply don’t question his works or plans, where we follow him wherever it may be without doubt or distrust. Knowing that we can’t do it on our own and accepting the fact that we are simply stupid in thinking we know what’s best for us is the first step in trusting god. Where your putting him above your own self richeousness and self pride is the biggest step you can make due to the fact that you have already shown some faith and trust that your pulling yourself down off the pedestal and replacing it with our amazing God. I pray that this touches someone and helps someone relate.. Everything I’ve said and will say about my past isn’t to bring pitty or attention to me, but to reach people and bring hope to them. That our God is so vastly amazing and loving that even if you want to change the situations your in, take it with a grain of salt and know that he is God and if the plans didn’t glorify him you wouldn’t be in them. I love all of you and I pray you have an amazing day

Video  —  Posted: September 16, 2013 in Uncategorized

So, it has definitely been a while. I’ve always been very good at expressing myself through words compared to vocal expression. As it seems, most people are that way. Why is it? Is it because your not vulnerable with emotions and feelings that show? Maybe you Feel more comfortable talking to a screen instead of a live, human being? Or is it because you may not have the courage to humble yourself or talk about touchy subjects in front of someone, but can type it or record it with no hesitation, because you dont have to face what someone may think on a person to person scale? You can be yourself, say and do what you want. So why as a people, do we have such a hard time praying or talking to god and not having the words to say? In reality it’s kinda like typing to a screen. God isn’t physically there in front of you where you can see him,so like typing to a computer where you don’t have to worry about someone’s expressions or comments, talking to God should be cake right? Wrong. The biggest thing for me is finding the time, or making myself think I don’t have time.. It makes me sick when I think of how many times I check Facebook or my phone a day, how many excuses I make , how much time I waste.. Could you imagine if you simply thanked god or prayed every time you checked something this world has you wrapped around? Even something so small as a simple “thank you lord, I love you” is easy, yet why is it so hard. I’m the first one too humble myself and admit I don’t do it. I will probably say I’m going to do it and do well at it for a few days, then it just falls off the bandwagon…but I’m asking you lord, help me, teach me to Trust you more than I do Facebook and love you more than I do my phone, to seek you more than I do girls, and appreciate you and your love more than I do myself. I know I’m stubborn and ill admit that. But I’m asking you god too help me, challenge me, and to push me to fulfill the plans you have for my life. I love you lord and I know it isn’t going to be easy, but I know it will be worth it 🙂


So I have been pondering what to write about over and over this morning as I have even read a couple different devotions but none of them weighted on heart as heavily as the prophecy spoken over my life when i was just 13yrs old. We were living in McCall, ID at the time and to say the least I was not the perfect child.  Anger issues on top of jealousy issues, rebellious on top of greed, and the list keeps going.  I applaud my parents for having the strength to handle me as well as having the desire to mold me into the man God created to be, even if, the clay was bad.  We were at a service, i believe it was on a Sunday night, and Harold Eberle was the guest speaker.  He had given his service then at the end he switched it up, no alter call, but a call for certain people to come up because he had a prophecy over their life as we were all sitting there praying.  Guess what? He called me up.  I honestly didnt really know what was going on, i was 13, what do you expect.  All I knew is there was a lot of people around me, I was crying, And Harold was speaking.  I remember what was being said but I soon forgot because I couldn’t write it down.  It wasnt more than a day later and a family friend of ours had seen me go up to Harold to receive the word he had for me, and without me knowing, she wrote down everything that was spoken on me.  I would like to share it all with you.

1. You will be ok in school this year, you will be okay in your family

2. You have questioned and wanted to do things as others and not known how, but I have plans for you and i will show you how.

3. You are a leader

4. I will use you in the prophetic

5. You will lead youth, those younger, to the lord

6. Your heart is tender, I gave you that tender heart

7. When you get older, you will teach people about God

8. Even though you have kicked things aside for awhile, I will still use you

When I first met my present MMA trainer Steven Smith, he asked me if had ever fought before. My answer was yes. Then he asked me why I wanted to train to be a better MMA fighter. Besides following my personal belief that God had a plan to use it as a ministry outreach to connect with others, I told him that “there is a warrior inside of me.” With this single answer, I set myself up to be tested in every aspect of my life.  MMA, relationships, school, work, family. God was going to reveal whether or not I was truly a warrior for Him. The point was not training to be a better MMA fighter; the point was finding the true warrior within me. I believe God can use any situation we are in and God can use any battle we face to reveal our warrior spirits. We don’t have to step inside an actual MMA cage to be warriors. There is an Enemy who is fighting us in the battlegrounds of our relationships, families, churches, schools, workplaces and minds. And His main desire is to submit us into apathy, tap us out from our destiny and win by decision because we didn’t obey the Holy Spirit. I’m in the cage of life, and my opponent is Satan. He wants to steal my victory, but I won’t let him. God has pre-determined Satan’s eventual defeat before time began, and I need to remember that Jesus has already won the victory. I’m on the winning side, and I want to embrace the warrior God created me to be. I will not back down. I will not give up. I will not tap out. Once my fight is over, I will stand before God’s throne, and there will stand Jesus raising my hand in victory as a winner.

Two men in the Bible were said to be meek: Moses and Jesus. When you look at the outcome of their lives, you realize that there is something important about meekness. In history, the term meek was used with war horses. When a horse would submit to its rider, they would become of one mind and body, and the power harnessed from that connection was almost unstoppable. As a fighter, you really do not know how you will react in the ring/cage until your first fight. Some first-time fighters go crazy. They are unable to control their movements; and the skill, endurance and strength they acquired from months of training go out the window. Other fighters, however, stay focused, listen to their trainers and patiently wait for the right moments to move. Before I got into the cage, I subdued all my emotions. I knew exactly where my trainers were and I did everything they told me to do. When the fight went from stand-up to the floor, I listened for my new directions. When I took top mount, I kept my body controlled for several seconds while my opponent twisted and pulled under me.  Finally when my trainers told me to strike, I did with all the strength and energy I had in me. When the fight was over, I fell to my knees and released all my emotions, thanking God for getting me through to the end. God wants us to be meek, so He can pour His power into our lives. When we let go of the control and allow God to ride and direct our lives, there is no stopping what we can do for His kingdom.

God, I want my life to fulfill every purpose that You have for it, and I know that I’ll only be able to achieve those victories if I’m submitted to Your authority. I want my life to have meaning. I want to make a difference for eternity. I know that I can’t do it on my own. Please, guide and direct my life. Teach me to stay so sensitive to Your Spirit that I’ll make the smallest adjustments and changes without hesitation. I pray this in Jesus’ name, Amen.

As I read in my devotional this morning, it had me focus on Deuteronomy 34:1-4.  Basically what’s going on is this, God is standing on top of this mountain telling Moses “This is the land i promised to your ancestors, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob with the words ‘I will give it to your descendants.’ I’ve let you see it with your own eyes.  There is it. But you’re not going to go in”.. Crazy Hu? The only way i could make a relation to what Moses must have been feeling is like, your parents taking you to the store, to look at that one toy or something that you have ALWAYS wanted, they say to you “I’ve let you see it with your own eyes, but your not going to get it.” Yes, there is a reason God did that to Moses and probably a reason your parents would have done that to you.  Obedience.  Moses was the leader of the nation of Israel for the latter part of his life.  He was mostly obedient and faithful, but there were times of disobedience.  Because of that, God told Moses that the israelites would enter the Promised Land but that he would not.  Makes ya wanna obey and be faithful hu? ive been pondering a few questions while reading this and i would love nothing more than some insight on them from other people.  But why do you think God takes disobedience so seriously?  And some more personal questions I have been pondering like “What have been some consequences of my own disobedience?” haha I could go on listing consequences from that one for quite a while :).  Then there’s the question i want everyone to really pray on and ask themselves, “Are you able to trust the promises of God, even if you never end up seeing them? Why or why not?.  Today’s blog is kind of a short, sweet, self reflection blog.  As i was praying this morning I felt compelled to really emphasize on asking God to help me live a life of faith and obedience, The kind of life that honors him at all time.  Wether it’s in the MMA Cage, school, the gym, whatever the situation may be, I ask that God helps me not only have faith of a mustard seed, but obey him to the fullest and glorify him to the maximum. Here’s kind of something my devotion has challenged me to do this week and i extend this challenge to my readers.  Think of Moses-like people you know; Older, godly individuals living faithfully for God.  consider connecting with them and getting to know them and their stories, challenge them and ask them the same questions I asked you to ponder earlier.  Bet you will be surprised at some answers 🙂 Have a blessed day everyone.  Keep It Real!!

So i was randomly flipping through my devotional this morning just frozen cause i had no idea where to even start back up again.. So being the spunky person i am, instead of just starting at “Day 1” and going through the book, i’m just going to open a page and do the devotion for the day.  We have an un-expecting God, so why not read an un-expected devotion? who knows, it could really hit home with you like the one i read this morning did.  My biggest pet peeve, and anyone who knows me can back me up on this, is when someone says one thing but does the opposite.  But if you think about it, how many times have you done the very thing that you find most irritable? I’ll be honest, i do it a lot.  Say one thing yet do the complete opposite… That’s how my expression towards other people about God or my faith has been a lot of my life.  I truly believe my walk in my faith has been the most unique case there is lol.  Think about the baddest, tallest, most curvy, speed driven roller coaster there is, put me on that roller coaster of faith.. im up, down, upside down, going fast downhill,  then climbing safely to the the top just to end up going over the edge again after a short glimpse of the beauty you see for that brief moment your at the top, the highest you could be, then something happens or you take your eyes off the beauty, and BAM.. there ya go, back downhill.  Yet as i firmly believe this is the perfect way to explain how my walk has been my whole life, i feel this comfort inside that even though particurally these past couple months  i’ve done stupid things, hurt people, lied, and worst of all gone to jail, that yes, i may have been flying downward as low as that roller coaster goes, but God must have had other plans.  He took me to the place in life i’ve always been the lowest, rock bottom, and grabbed me, said look up, and as i look up im slowly climbing back to the top, buckled up in his grace and forgiveness, safe in his arms, were climbing back to the top.  Out of no where, in a jail cell, my greatest passion at that moment is pursuing my daddy, loving him, and trusting him with my life, no matter where i am in the world physically.   This goes back to my devotional, we as believers CANT have the Israel mindset that they have in Hosea 8:1-3, when the vultures are circling over God’s people who not only broke his covenant but defied his revelation and not they are crying out “My God! We know you.”  Yet, do they act like it? nope, they have nothing to do with whats good and now the enemy is after them.   Dont get on that roller coaster and cause yourself to go on that up and down frenzy, just because you say one thing yet do another.  Here’s something to think about for the day, consider your actions over the past week, the times when you have been the one to say something and then do the opposite.  Is your love for God displayed in your actions, or do your actions fly in the face of everything you say to him?  My prayer today i really touched on and felt compelled to just express and tell God my desire to fall deeper and deeper in love with him, praying and asking him to help my actions communicate that to him, and almost in a way, proving myself to him that this time is real.  Like the title of my blog.. this time, im BEINREAL… Be blessed everyone 🙂